Interpersonal Communication: Definitional

Interpersonal communication is a topic that covers the communication between people that have a close relationship with one another. There are many ways to define relationships and each person in the relationship has their own roles they must fulfill. In a high quality relationship, the roles are determined by personal characteristics rather than by situation. The Johari window is a way for conceptualizing the levels of awareness and self disclosure.

In the first quadrant of the Johari window everyone around you knows that information and so do you. The second quadrant is all the things about yourself that others perceive but aren't accessible to you. The third is everything you know about yourself but no one else does and the fourth is completely unknown to everyone, including yourself. These four quadrants are interdependent and will change if one of the other one changes. It is better to have a large quadrant one and have the rest of the quadrants be small because it is satisfying to learn more about yourself and gain insight. But you also need to reveal information about yourself so others will know you better. Luft believes that greater knowledge of yourself in relation to others will result in greater self-esteem and self-acceptance. (Tubbs & Moss, 282)

There is also a great need for trust and reciprocity in a relationship. Its okay to disclose information to someone you have established a level of trust with. That trust is rooted in intimacy. The need for reciprocity is gradual because of the level of trust that needs to be established. There will be tension in a relationship whether to disclose or conceal information from the other for different reasons.

The triangular theory of love has three components to it: intimacy, passion and decision/commitment. A balanced triangle is the ultimate goal with one component at each tip of the triangle and the three work together to create a balanced relationship. In unbalanced triangles, one component is described alone without the other two effecting it. These relationships may feel unconnected and less passionate, and the people may be staying together out of convenience or a sense of responsibility.

When in a relationship there are many factors that play in to the human attraction to the other. There is proximity, similarity, and situations. All these factors determine the strength of the attraction that one has to another. With proximity, if we know we are going to be in a very close vicinity to someone, we tend to minimize or even overlook that person's less desirable traits. This is true although we want to meet someone with similar traits as we have.

When put in a relationship, whether it be serious or romantic, there is a need to maintain it so that it stays healthy. Relationship maintenance is defined as how people, whether they are friends, romantic partners or family members can maintain close and satisfying relationships. There are five maintenance strategies that are successful for a romantic relationship:

1. Positivity: Being cooperative, cheerful, optimistic, not criticizing, etc.

2. Openness: Encouraging the discourse of thoughts and feelings.

3. Assurances: Showing love and faithfulness, implying the relationship has a future.

4. Networks: Spending time with common friends, and the willingness to be with the others friends and family.

5. Tasks: Sharing duties and tasks jointly including household chores and other responsibilities. (Tubbs & Moss, 256-7)

When trying to maintain close friendships, there are three strategies that have been proved helpful:

1. Self-Disclosure: Openness between friends, and sharing information.

2. Supportiveness: Listening and offering advice when there is a problem.

3. Spending time together: Seeing movies, taking trips, shopping, talking on the phone even emailing, etc. (Tubbs & Moss, 258)

When all of these strategies are used in a romantic relationship or a close friendship, there is a high success rate and that the two people will get along very well. Maintaining relationships can be done with these steps listed above.

We all know that relationships must come to an end and that is when relationship dissolution/ disengagement comes into play. One theory was created by Steve Duck and has four distinct phases. The first phase is the intrapsychic phase when the internal breakdown occurs . This is when one partner may be growing unhappy but doesn't say anything to the other about it. Then the dyadic phase occurs, which is the "interpersonal mess". This is when confrontation occurs and they try to work out their differences. When that doesn't work, the social phase is next. The people start to seek advice from friends or family about what they should do with their decision. The last phase is the grave dressing phase which sounds very morbid, but it is when we turn to others to justify our actions (Tubbs & Moss, 252)